'Just don't PuG' is not a solution

Zinn at Jinxed Thoughts wrote an insightful post that goes through the trials of tanking, and one of the comments on it got me thinking.

It wasn’t an especially unusual riposte to the stress some groups lump on tanks. You’ve probably heard it a lot already.

TANKS! RUN WITH YOUR GUILD

Because this is more about the general mentality than the struggles of any one particular role, modify 'tanks' to 'players'. So. If you’re having a stressful time in LFG, because other people don't know their jobs or are being abusive, just pull the hell out of there. Run with people you know.

I am all for comfortable environments. I believe everyone deserves to play in a way that they enjoy. I don't for a moment think anyone should have to endure bad treatment;I do not have any less respect for those players who withdraw from the unnecessary adversity of LFG. But I do not feel this oft-chanted response to PuG issues deserves anything like the weight the forum community gives it.

Firstly, this argument has issues to do with privilege.

I’m going to say this right out: if someone tells a player to run with people they know and honestly believes that’s one big problem sorted, that person probably has friends or a guild who are willing to run heroics with them. There are some very important things these people have clearly forgotten.

• Not everyone has a guild. Neither should they have to search for a guild if they don’t want one.
• Not everyone’s guild members want to run heroics. Neither should a player feel they’re pressuring people, nor the guildies feel they have to take pity on that player.
• Not everyone’s guild members act or play better than your average PuG player. Trading one stressful situation for another does not help. Whether the player should be looking for a new guild at this point is not the main thrust of this discussion, but I may come back to it in a future post.
• Not everyone wants to run with people they know all the time. It’s personal preference. I like to learn a new role in PuGs. They’re usually more objective when I ask how I’m doing, and I avoid the anxiety I sometimes feel when people I know are seeing me out of my comfort zone. Frankly, no-one needs to explain why they don’t always want to play with friends to give this point validity; if they don’t want to, they don’t want to, so it's not going to help boost their enjoyment.
  

Just because some people have the option of sticking to a hand-picked group of good players does not mean everyone else does too. A ‘solution’ to bad LFG experiences that rests on the existence of a convenience not everyone has access to is not a solution.

Secondly, this argument puts pressure on the victims rather than the perpetrators.

Okay, I need to stop for a second. The point applies to PuGs that are abusive. You know the sort - they throw insults, they pitch hissy fits, they ninja-pull groups, and they purposefully make the run hell. My rage isn't aimed at groups that are poor because the players don't know their roles. Frankly, I think some players are rude in the amount they expect others to carry them, especially if they shoot down constructive criticism, but having to learn your class is not a crime and it's not abusive. The aggressive behaviour is.

So, aside aside, what 'run with your guild' does is ask the victim to change their ways, not the unmitigated asshats who are tormenting them.

Think of it this way. It's like seeing a group of bullies beating up a kid in the playground. Instead of setting the bullies straight, this mentality would have you turn on the kid and demand, 'What were you doing in the playground in the first place? You knew the bullies were out there.'

What were you doing in LFG? Trying to get some badges, enjoy a dungeon run, generally have fun? FOOL. You knew you might land in a stressful group!

It's bloody illogical. Clearly the person who zones in and starts spamming triggering emotes is the one who needs dealing with. Clearly the player blazing ahead, pulling multiple packs without the tank and causing wipes, is the one who needs to stop. There's this short-sighted notion flying about that it's up to each player to guard themselves, but you cannot play a massively multiplayer game to its full extent without other players, and every single player has the potential to be an utter turd to you.

Insulting that person mouthing off in trade might be baiting, but playing the game as Blizzard intended is not. No one should be shamed into feeling stupid for making use of the LFG tool.